Two years into parenthood… Not a single break. Four years in… and still, not one break. At five years, one month and twenty-one days later we finally got our first break from being fulltime parents.
Since the day my son was born, one of us was present for the first five-plus years of his life. And yet, I love my wife more now than I ever have. How she can even tolerate me at this point is beyond my comprehension.
This is not completely unusual. A couple we have befriended from New Zealand, who now resides in New Jersey, are thousands of miles away from their respective families. That’s rough – and they have THREE kids – add that to the equation and these two parents represent superheroes.
But like them, my wife and I have each other. That is a blessing no one should take for granted… ever.
For men who may not have family nearby to help or those whose parents are too elderly to watch a two-year-old, the result is on par with a soldier’s ‘thousand-yard stare.’ It’s a term that was used to describe Vietnam war veterans and their near-death experience from warfare. It is more common for those of us raised by single parents – sometimes local support simply doesn’t exist. For parents in this situation, it’s what I refer to as the ‘thousand-day glare.’
What’s a supportive and loving husband supposed to do in this circumstance? Surprise your wife. It’s the only short-term remedy you can offer to your spouse and it can go a long way.
• Does she love rock and roll? Get a sitter and surprise her with concert tickets.
• Is the spa her thing? Get a daytime sitter and schedule a massage for her, or both of you if that’s your thing. If not, pick her up in a couple of hours and enjoy a meal together.
• Does she love sports? If so, damn you’re lucky! Book the sitter for half a day and go with her to a game.
Make it about her and make sure she is completely in the dark. She’ll love you for it.
Then shag like minks on a hot summer day. Just make sure the kid’s asleep and the babysitter is gone. Otherwise, you’ll give yourself…